Monday, July 21, 2014

Haiku #14

I have been contemplating whether to post this poem here, or not. It is a bit disturbing when I wrote it in the wee hours of the morning. (2:00 a.m.) I woke up crying around 1:00 a.m., and I had difficulty stopping myself from sobbing. Fortunately, writing helped.

I'm not sure why I had a bad dream. Maybe, I worry too much that it affects my deep slumber. It doesn't happen often for me, but it gets intense when it does. I don't need to tell everyone about my whole life story. Good or bad, I know I'll hear it all. I don't really care anymore. I'm getting numb everyday.

Haiku #14 - Nightmare
© by Sonnia Jean Kemmer July 21, 2014

When you dream of death,
Do you believe what you see?
Do you listen, too?

In this bizarre dream,
Do you feel sorrow and pain?
Can you even scream?

I dreamed about death.
My body acquired a stroke,
Yet was still alive.

Could not move myself,
But felt things and heard it, too.
It was a sad state.

Got fed by others.
Got cleaned and changed by others.
I was disabled.

When wanting something,
Which I cannot really reach,
None wanted to help.

There were times when they,
The ones who assisted me,
Laughed after I tried.

I wanted to die.
I groaned and moaned about it.
They all laughed at me.

Tears came easily.
Nobody understood me.
I could not speak straight.

It was difficult
When no one really listens
In a dream, or not.

I woke up crying.
Big dose of pain and sorrow.
It felt very real.

If I dream of death,
I must remember it all.
Every piece of it.

When the right time comes,
I'd be set for the big blow.
No more tears to shed.

© by Sonnia Jean Kemmer July 21, 2014

Sometimes, I think that my old depression comes in and out of the big picture. It's tough to shake it off, especially when I'm all happy where I am in my life. It creeps back in and hangs around pointlessly. I have let go of all the toxicity that chained my depression to me. I know that it is just a reminder to keep the toxic people out. I feel better with that.

Have you had a bad dream and felt it so real?


  1. Yes I have. And what I really hate is that the damn dream, and the awful feelings it brings, stay with me all day long, yet I rarely ever remember the cool/surreal dreams! I had a bad dream a week or so ago that was so real that I had to text my stepson's fiancee' to make sure she was OK. I'd dreamt she committed suicide. She texted back that she was fine, and wanted to know what I dreamed about her but I told her that I didn't want to say, just happy she was OK. Ugh. The worst ones are the occasional dream that Russell's broken up with me. Those keep me in a state of despair. :(

    1. Before I even met my hubby, I had this weird dream that made me so upset. I guess, I read tons of crime mystery books. The dream went like this: I was driving on a causeway. Deserted road. I pulled over the shoulder to check out the body of water on the side, and goosebumps appeared on my arms and at the back of my neck. It was thick red blood splashing on the side of the causeway instead of clear water. Scary, but the worst discovery I had in that dream was all the dead bodies dumped in that supposedly body of water. Crazy brains. I woke up shaking my head, thinking the dream might loosen up and fall off unremembered. Unfortunately, it stayed in my head. I started reading romance novels after that. LOL

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