Thursday, September 19, 2013

Life in Judgment

In several recent days, some random friends of mine have discussed with me the following issues:

From Ms. One: People think I don't have a life because I always go to my boyfriend's events, like they think my life is my boyfriend's sport events. Why can't I like sports? They don't know I love watching sports because I want to write a sports column. They judge me so easily.

Mrs. Two: My husband's friends think that I have no life of my own because I'm always present where my husband is. Every party, every occasion, I'm with my husband. They think I have no friends of my own or my own group to go party with. But, I socialize because I have a bakery business to promote. I get orders all the time. They think I'm guarding my husband.

Miss Three: My parents think I need to find something I really like to do, as if I don't do anything at all. They push me out of the house, and they want me to do sports. But, they don't see who I really am. I love to cross-stitch and do crafts. Why can't they see that?

The question is, why do people think that about other people? Just because someone hangs out often with another doesn't mean that particular someone has no life of his/her own. How about you, what makes you different from the person you always hang out with? What's the reason you even hang out with that person? Everybody has different intentions in this world, but the intent to question someone else's individuality shouldn't be one of them. Why can't they just be there?

I'll write about "me," for example. I organize events and gather different friends together to have fun. I don't call it a life, but I call it exploration. Not just of my own self, but it is an exploration of almost everything around me, about me, about others. I discover a lot of things I love and enjoy: meeting new friends, socializing, going to different places, exploring different dishes, photography, and writing all about it. Everyday is an opportunity to learn and discover new things. At least, that's how I see it.

When it comes to my husband, he brought back music to my life. I studied piano and church organ when I was a little girl, up to my teen years. Reading music is not new to me, and when I decided to learn the saxophone, my husband guided me to it. If I go with him to his events, it doesn't mean I always ride along with his kind of life. Music has been a part of my life, and I'm discovering a new way of experiencing it for myself. I've also been in band gigs back home as a vocalist. So, my husband's baritone sax band gigs brought me back to the past. I love watching live music anyways, so we were a match--him performing and me a part of the audience.

The big thing other people don't see is my love for photography and writing. I won't call myself a professional photographer. I won't even consider myself good at photography, but I do try to learn slowly and discover something magical through my camera. See, that's a part of my life. Going to events help me execute that part of my life.

After the events I go to, I write about it. I studied Journalism and Writing for Mass Media in college. I practice my writing by scribbling different stuff on my journals. So, going to my husband's gigs helps me be me. I may not post everything that I write, but it doesn't mean I don't have anything better to do. Just like my friends who get questioned. Why would they let the whole world know? I mean, why would they explain themselves for being around, for hanging out when others think they shouldn't be? Why do people think someone doesn't belong?

That should be an example. Maybe those do-not-belong-here-individuals are practicing their social skills, joke-telling, or cooking (by sharing dishes to parties). Who knows, right? Each individual has a purpose and has a reason for being around, for hanging out. That's life itself. UNLESS, you are doing something illegal or a crime. I'm not judging those of you who do, by the way. I want you to realize what you are doing. See, that's a whole different flow of thought. But then, who really knows what's right and wrong, correct? Think again. There are rules in this world, especially in this country, for example. Doing something against the rules is just wrong. Period. I digress. That's an entirely different ball game (or topic).

Anyways, I'm writing this blog for my friends who are questioned by others, judged for doing what's right, and looked down upon because of not knowing why. Keep doing the good things that you are doing by being you, by enjoying what you do, without breaking rules (I guess that depends on what rule, hahaha), and by laughing out loud. Your happiness is the meaning of life.


  1. The only person in my life who judges like crazy is my mom. 'You're wasting your education', 'why aren't you looking for work? You need your own money.' 'Why do you constantly look for beach glass? You don't need anymore of it.' I call her Judgy von Holierthanthou. I get sick of hearing it. Beachcombing is a stress buster and even though I don't work, yes I have stress from time to time. I shoot my pics and make crafts in the hopes of selling them. I get sick of her judging people, my friends, my guy, his kids, his extensive family and me. She's a major league bitch.

    1. The problem with holier-than-thou personalities is that they are blind to themselves. It's like that famous saying, "Don't notice the little smudge on my face when you have mud all over yours." (It's not the exact saying, but you get my drift.) I believe everybody has baggage. It doesn't necessarily mean they can just ignore it. Everybody has the right to do what they want, but if it is against the rules it has punishments. This blog is written to point out that everybody has reasons to be around, too simply live. Being alive is life. Everybody has a purpose. However, if that purpose is against the rules (doing illegal stuff), hurting someone or others (like hating, discriminating, bullying), then that is questionable. Those who originally judged others shouldn't be surprised when their targets defend themselves. It's human nature. There's a point where all the friction should die down. With all those negative energy erased, then there will be peace. Everybody should just be happy. Being a holier-than-thou individual just shouts-out an unhappy life.

    2. Oops *to simply live, not "too" simply live. Using my phone. LOL


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